Hats

Description: For almost seven years, you've had Scott, Ryan, Brian and Max in your gross ears, making gross sounds and saying gross things. Now, put them on your gross chest, making gross faces.

Description: The ultimate conversation-starter! EX: Stranger: "Hey, where'd you get that free shirt?" You: "Oh, I bought it online." Stranger: "Wait, what?" You: "Hi, I'm [insert your name here]" *Shirt is not actually free.

Description: Seriously why would you even ask that just literally just go look it up

Description: Quack quack quack the dirtiest duck ever is here to lay some dirty eggs

Description: SEE SHIRT FOR MORE INFORMATION

Description: It's true.

Description: Here's Max's Pomeranian dog in a Hawaiian shirt, being a shitty little satan.

Description: It's a rat who's also an astronaut! How novel!

Description: Part of Max Scoville's series of awful paintings of awful monsters on awful vacation.

Description: Part of Max Scoville's series of awful paintings of awful monsters on awful vacation.

Description: They stay up all night, eat garbage, and make a mess. Raccoons are the rowdy adolescents of the animal kingdom.

Description: BARK YES? NO? YES! Buy a shirt. Nobody knows what the fuck it means. Dogs are funny.

Description: Part of Max Scoville's series of awful paintings of awful monsters on awful vacation.

Description: Part of Max Scoville's series of awful paintings of awful monsters on awful vacation.

Description: What would you do if we sang out of tune? Well, we've done that on the show a lot of times, so, uh, sorry about that.

Description: Geese suck ass, they're always shitting on playgrounds and stuff. For every one of these shirts that is sold, we will firebomb one entire goose-filled playground.